Lesson for 29th July - Honoring your Father And Mother
Hey guys, this is the rough work of heng guang. I thought it would be good if you guys read through it first.
Key verse: Ephesians 6:2-3 - "Honor your father and mother--which is the first commandment and a promise--that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Tuner: ?? Questions that come to everyone's minds when this commandment is heard, How do I honor my father and mother? What does honor even mean? The question we should ask is, what does honoring your father and your mother really mean? The Greek word for "to honor" in this verse means to prize, to fix a valuation upon, to revere, to value. So to honor your father and mother means to hold them in high regard and respect as the ones who you brought you into this world and raised you. hey may not have done a very good job in your own eyes, but God calls us to respect our parents nonetheless. What does honoring your father and your mother not mean? It doesn’t mean you necessarily agree with everything they believe and do – you can respectfully disagree and still be honoring your parents. If your parents told you to rob a bank, you would respectfully refuse because you know that stealing is wrong. Solomon, the wisest man, urged children to respect their parents (Proverbs 1:8; 30:17). Although we may no longer be directly under their authority, we cannot outgrow God’s command to honor our parents. Even Jesus, God the Son, submitted Himself to both His earthly parents (Luke 2:51) and His heavenly Father (Matthew 26:39). Following Christ’s example, we should treat our parents the way we would reverentially approach our heavenly Father (Hebrews 12:9; Malachi 1:6). Now that we know what honoring your parents means, how do we go about doing it? Honor them with both actions and attitudes. Honor their unspoken as well as spoken wishes. “A wise son heeds his father's instruction, but a mocker does not listen to rebuke” (Proverbs 13:1). We should seek to honor our parents in much the same way that we strive to bring glory to God—in our thoughts, words, and actions. That includes listening(James 1:19), heeding, and submitting to their authority (Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:20), & in our speech (Proverbs 20:20). While we are required to honor parents, that doesn’t include imitating ungodly ones (Ezekiel 20:18-19). If a parent ever instructs a child to do something that clearly contradicts God’s commands, that child must obey God rather than his/her parents (Acts 5:29). Leaders should continue on the lesson with personal sharings on how they themselves go about honoring their fathers and mothers in their own lives. To make things more fun, a forum could be held between the youths and leaders!
Heng Guang
Change in the family starts with a change in my mindset
Today's lesson is on family. I believe many of our youths struggle with different family issues. This could be bad relationships with either their parents or their siblings.
I think we all wish our parents could be like this
This is the first of 4 sessions which we will be going through with them how to bring about change within their family. Hopefully at the end of all the 5 sessions, the youths will learn to love their family more. The first thing we got to teach our youths is that change starts with him or herself. It starts with a change of mindset.
What is the current mindset of our youths? Lets find out.
Activity: Get your youths to write down as much complaints as possible about their family. It could be about their family in general or one particular individual of their family. After that mix up the different pieces of paper and read it out to them. Have them guess who wrote that complaint. To spice things up even further. You could get four containers. Labeled father, mother, sibling and others haha. Ask them to place their complaints in the respective boxes and see which one gets the highest. I highly recommend you to join in. Oh and keep the complaints we need it for later!
Point of the activity: We all have complained or judged our family members one way or another whether in thought or deed.
Lesson:
Key points:
1) Realisation of unloving mindset.
2) Why is that mindset wrong?
3) Chosen change agent
Key point 1: Realisation of unloving mindset
How do we treat our parents and family members? Do we treat them with love and respect? I believe we all struggle with that. And we all have our complaints about our family. By the number of complaints you can see that we do judge a lot.
At this point you should break up into smaller groups and illicit the different mindsets and thoughts towards their family from your youth. Get them to share them with you.
In Romans 2: 1-8, the Jews in paul's day complained a lot as well. They complained heavily about the Gentiles and the way they were doing things? Dont we do the same when we see eye to eye with our family? Dont we judge them as well?
Key point 2: Why is that mindset wrong?
In Romans 2:2-3 states when you pass judgement onto someone, you condemn yourself since dont you do the same things.
Its like the pot calling the kettle black, since we are just as black. Havent we all fallen short of God's glory?
Romans 3:23: all have fallen short of God's glory.
We are all in the same boat.
Some of your kids may argue or point out. That sometimes they didnt do anything wrong. Sometimes its their parents who have made the mistakes. If we didnt do anything wrong. Does that give us the right not to show love and grace to our parents?
The answer is found in Matthew 18: 21-34 ( Parable of the unmerciful servant)
God has forgiven us for our sins, shouldnt we forgive our parents as well? Shouldnt we hold our tongue?
Key Point 3: Chosen change agent
Then what kind of mindset should we have as christians? We must realise that we are choosen by God as christians. he has placed us in our families for a reason! That is to be the salt and light of the world, even to the world of our families. Even as i write this, my mom is nagging at me to get of the computer and go back to camp. haha.
That every single small action of grace and love counts. Why does it count?
That every single small action of grace and love counts. Why does it count?
Matthew 5:13-16, verse 16 especially, verse 16 says In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven.
Every single small action counts cause they too will be brought closer to God and with that comes transformation. Its like if two people have similar goals, similar purposes in life, a similar outlook an perspective on life. They will naturally become closer. The reason why you act is cause the end result is that God glory will be seen.
The bible then also teaches us how one should carry himself as a christian. Even behind close doors in our house. Dont you think the ones who deserve most of our energy and time are the ones who had to deal with us since we were babies.
Every single small action counts cause they too will be brought closer to God and with that comes transformation. Its like if two people have similar goals, similar purposes in life, a similar outlook an perspective on life. They will naturally become closer. The reason why you act is cause the end result is that God glory will be seen.
The bible then also teaches us how one should carry himself as a christian. Even behind close doors in our house. Dont you think the ones who deserve most of our energy and time are the ones who had to deal with us since we were babies.
Colossians 3:1-4 and 12-13
Since we were raised with God and now righteous. This has many implications on the way we live our lives.
Verse 2: We now have the power to act as a righteous man is. One that sets his mind on things above.
Verse 12-13: We are chosen by God, to be his people again. As his people we bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Why should we do all this? Cause the Lord our God has first forgiven you of all your sins.
Since we were raised with God and now righteous. This has many implications on the way we live our lives.
Verse 2: We now have the power to act as a righteous man is. One that sets his mind on things above.
Verse 12-13: We are chosen by God, to be his people again. As his people we bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Why should we do all this? Cause the Lord our God has first forgiven you of all your sins.
And after all the bible says so clearly as well about obeying our parents
Colossian 3:20: Obeying your parents means pleasing God
Exodus 20:12: ten commandments
Exodus 20:12: ten commandments
Really at the end of the day. We obey our parents cause God our father in heaven has loved us as his children first.
Ill leave you with this.
Alex
When can I start dating?
Hey all!
Okay so before I start
the lesson, here is a mini disclaimer. This entire topic is quite interesting
and opinions may differ from person to person. Not all of us may agree with the
lesson wholly at times, nor follow strictly to it, but still this lesson doesn’t
really serve to “stop” them from dating or trying to get romantically involved
(let’s face it. God’s timing can be weird at times and also well when hormones
start kicking in, there’s no definite way to prevent them from dating.) But
still, teach this lesson based on these few assumptions:
1. There is a really high chance that they’ll probably get or try to get into a relationship anyway. And most of them might not end with a marriage. But what we can do is to help them understand that there is a time where God has planned for us all to meet our significant other and we should learn to accept God’s timing instead of trying to rush things. Thus this lesson should, hopefully, be recalled by them when they begin wailing to God on why we’re forever alone.
1. There is a really high chance that they’ll probably get or try to get into a relationship anyway. And most of them might not end with a marriage. But what we can do is to help them understand that there is a time where God has planned for us all to meet our significant other and we should learn to accept God’s timing instead of trying to rush things. Thus this lesson should, hopefully, be recalled by them when they begin wailing to God on why we’re forever alone.
2. This lesson assumes
that all forms of physical contact between guys and girls should be avoided, as
we people are sinners and should avoid temptation and keep our relationships
holy. Yes. That includes holding hands. Just stick to this alright? No matter
how much you might protest this, it’s true. Discipline is something we all
think we have, but flush down the drain when the time comes anyway. So yea.
ENCOURAGE them not to have physical contact. (I myself don’t really understand
how this can actually work out as relationships requires some level of intimacy.
In my opinion, focus on teaching them to keep the relationship holy, of which a
good way is to avoid physical contact to avoid temptation)
Okay lesson starts
proper.
Pray first!!!!!
Hook: The Boat Puzzle
Situation: 3 cannibals
and 3 missionaries want to cross the river. They see a boat. The objective of
the game is to get everyone over to the other side.
Logistics: Coins! I
suggest using coins for this. Or tear paper pieces. Use something physical to
play this game so that it becomes interactive. If possible, have more than one
set so that more than one person can play.
Rules:
Out of all the cannibals, there is only 1 that can row the boat. All missionaries can row the boat.
The boat can only take 2 people at a time.
The number of missionaries must equal or be greater than the number of cannibals at any place
Rules:
Out of all the cannibals, there is only 1 that can row the boat. All missionaries can row the boat.
The boat can only take 2 people at a time.
The number of missionaries must equal or be greater than the number of cannibals at any place
K the answer is
simple:
2 cannibals row first, then the one that can row the boat rows back. Takes the other cannibal over. Thus, 3M --- 3C (3 missionaries on one side, and 3 cannibals on the other side). The cannibal that can row rows back, and stays there. 2 missionaries then row across. Thus, 1M 1C --- 2M 2C. One missionary then rows back with one cannibal. The cannibal gets off, and the cannibal that can row goes across with the missionary (1M 1C --- 2M 2C > cannibal that can row on this side now). Now the cannibal that cannot row, and a missionary brings the boat across (2M 2C --- 1M 1C > cannibal that can row). 2 missionaries go on the boat and goes over (2C --- 3M 1C). The cannibal that can row then rows back alone and takes the other cannibals to the opposite side one at a time. Voila!
2 cannibals row first, then the one that can row the boat rows back. Takes the other cannibal over. Thus, 3M --- 3C (3 missionaries on one side, and 3 cannibals on the other side). The cannibal that can row rows back, and stays there. 2 missionaries then row across. Thus, 1M 1C --- 2M 2C. One missionary then rows back with one cannibal. The cannibal gets off, and the cannibal that can row goes across with the missionary (1M 1C --- 2M 2C > cannibal that can row on this side now). Now the cannibal that cannot row, and a missionary brings the boat across (2M 2C --- 1M 1C > cannibal that can row). 2 missionaries go on the boat and goes over (2C --- 3M 1C). The cannibal that can row then rows back alone and takes the other cannibals to the opposite side one at a time. Voila!
Moral: This game
teaches us that there is a proper order and timing to do everything, and
eventually everything will be solved.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens
When it comes to dating,
the verse also applies.
So we have learnt that
there is nothing wrong in dating. God created Men and Women, created to be
together in a permanent companionship called marriage. But when should we start
to date?
Get them to sit
further apart from each other and ask them to write down their answers to the
following questions:
1. What age should we start dating? E.g. Lower Sec, Upper Sec, JC/Poly, Uni, Working age, never
1. What age should we start dating? E.g. Lower Sec, Upper Sec, JC/Poly, Uni, Working age, never
2. What age do you think we can have a steady
relationship (one that probably ends in marriage)
3. Is it alright to hold hands when dating?
4. When should your first kiss happen? E.g.
First date, subsequent dates, when steady, engaged, marriage, never
Get them to share
their answers and opinions. There is no right or wrong answer, but do encourage
them to adopt the Christian perspective which we will be going through.
To date is to have a
special time of going out with someone. So when it comes to romance, when is
the right time? In shows and movies, and also around us, people are dating.
Some start really young. Should we be following suit?
Romans 12:2- Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by
the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s
will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will.
The world tells us
that hey its cool to date and fun and all, and that its okay to start young.
But don’t share their perspective. The growing up years should be a time to
develop good, healthy friendships with members of the opposite gender. During
this time, we are to learn how to interact and treat one another well, just like
brother and sisters. Why? So that in the future, we are able to develop a good
and strong relationship as a foundation for a good marriage.
To date someone is an
indication of attraction to that person, and that you have already singled
him/her out for a possible special relationship.
Why shouldn’t we
date? -Leaders, feel free to share your
own perspective! Make sure its healthy.
A few reasons are:
Focus on studies
Still no job, no income
Too early to be looking at marriage
Immature (emotionally, mentally, and also might not be ready for a proper relationship)
Not spiritually ready (You have to learn to place God in the center of your life. If you can’t handle your relationship with God properly, then you probably are not ready for a relationship with a mortal too)
A few reasons are:
Focus on studies
Still no job, no income
Too early to be looking at marriage
Immature (emotionally, mentally, and also might not be ready for a proper relationship)
Not spiritually ready (You have to learn to place God in the center of your life. If you can’t handle your relationship with God properly, then you probably are not ready for a relationship with a mortal too)
When should we date
then?
Not anytime soon, sadly. (I would allow group dates, though)
Dating is a huge step. It is the beginning of a possible serious relationship. And we have learnt that relationships should begin with marriage in mind. Are you ready for marriage? There is NO “test water” dating. It is wrong as this kind of flirtatious dating just doesn’t end well. Neither is there flings, nor friends with benefits, nor short term relationships whatever. Christians should keep our relationships holy and Christian-like as it mirrors our relationship with God (us as the bride and God as the Groom). Without being mature spiritually emotionally or mentally, relationships form for all kinds of different, unhealthy reasons. E.g. Cos that girl/guy is chio or suai, cos all my friends got gf/bf so I lonely need one also, cos very fun what etc etc. These unhealthy reasons would also most likely lead to many complications later. Most of these relationships don’t last very long too. So forget it, save yourself the tears and pain, and wait for God to send you the right one. Seriously. (not that most of you would listen. But one day, if you ever are wailing because of a relationship ending badly, do always keep in mind that God probably has someone else in mind for you. Someone PERFECT for you J )
Not anytime soon, sadly. (I would allow group dates, though)
Dating is a huge step. It is the beginning of a possible serious relationship. And we have learnt that relationships should begin with marriage in mind. Are you ready for marriage? There is NO “test water” dating. It is wrong as this kind of flirtatious dating just doesn’t end well. Neither is there flings, nor friends with benefits, nor short term relationships whatever. Christians should keep our relationships holy and Christian-like as it mirrors our relationship with God (us as the bride and God as the Groom). Without being mature spiritually emotionally or mentally, relationships form for all kinds of different, unhealthy reasons. E.g. Cos that girl/guy is chio or suai, cos all my friends got gf/bf so I lonely need one also, cos very fun what etc etc. These unhealthy reasons would also most likely lead to many complications later. Most of these relationships don’t last very long too. So forget it, save yourself the tears and pain, and wait for God to send you the right one. Seriously. (not that most of you would listen. But one day, if you ever are wailing because of a relationship ending badly, do always keep in mind that God probably has someone else in mind for you. Someone PERFECT for you J )
What about physical
contact in relationships?
Avoid. Why?
While holding hands and kissing and all don’t exactly constitute sinning (erm. Assuming you are in a healthy Godly relationship), the dangers of physical contact in a relationship is that it causes a lot of temptation. From holding hands to hugging to whatever, it might end up as a physical relationship. But that is not what relationships are about. Its not about kissing, nor holding hands with someone. Relationships are about walking through life together. Sharing the happy and sad times. Not owning a portable kissing booth. But communicating, and committing to each other, and spurring on each other towards Godliness and love and good deeds. That’s the beauty of companionship. The world seems to undermine these and focus more on the physical parts, but really the best part about being in a relationship is wayyyyyyy more than that. Focus on those instead.
Avoid. Why?
While holding hands and kissing and all don’t exactly constitute sinning (erm. Assuming you are in a healthy Godly relationship), the dangers of physical contact in a relationship is that it causes a lot of temptation. From holding hands to hugging to whatever, it might end up as a physical relationship. But that is not what relationships are about. Its not about kissing, nor holding hands with someone. Relationships are about walking through life together. Sharing the happy and sad times. Not owning a portable kissing booth. But communicating, and committing to each other, and spurring on each other towards Godliness and love and good deeds. That’s the beauty of companionship. The world seems to undermine these and focus more on the physical parts, but really the best part about being in a relationship is wayyyyyyy more than that. Focus on those instead.
Recap: Focus on your
relationship with God first, before you worry about dating. Don’t be pressured
to rush into a relationship or start dating. Why? Because it leads to problems
or painful results. Wait for God’s timing.
Don’t let your
relationship develop into a physical one. If possible, avoid physical intimacy
such as holding hands or kissing or whatever until marriage.
Conclusion: At this
age, it is easy for our emotions to run wild. But what we want is not always
what we require. We might want a relationship now now now, but is it God’s will
for us to do so? God wants us to enjoy our relationship with that promised one,
not have a ton of teary breakups and sinful relationships. Rest assured, that
if next time you feel pressured to get into a relationship, or face problems or
whatever, do keep in mind to wait for God’s perfect timing.
Question Time!!! – Get them to ask you any questions they might have about BGR. Or BBR. Or GGR. Since it’s the last lesson on this topic, encourage them to ask or forever hold their peace. Heh. Nah its better for them to clear up any doubts.
Pray! Even better.
Pray for their future relationship with their future loved one. The one that
God is preparing for them. That they’ll keep their relationship holy and all. J k this one controversial so up to you :D But
most important is to pray!!!
done by,
Kenn
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