HUGS & KISSES

Focus of lesson: Love (as in BGR love) is an extension of God's love for us.

Hook:

LOVE IT & NAME IT Games show!

‘Who can name the most number of movies/shows and songs with the word love in the title’

Well, you guys are going to play a mini game show within your groups (its not much of a show, but still) and leaders will MC. Like what the name of the show says, the aim of the game is to name the most number of movies and songs with the word love in the title in 2/3/4 minutes (up to you). The kid that wins will get a small prize (we’ll provide).

Examples of movies/shows and songs are like Bleeding Love, Love Me, Love Actually and others.

Alright, tell you kids to hang on to their list of movies/shows and songs and we’ll explain to them the purpose of the hook in a bit.

Lesson:

What is love?

1) Ask the kids what they think love is and what the world think love is. (Ask them to think about the list of movies/shows and songs) Romance? Kissing and cuddling? Physical attraction? Sexual intimacy? Friendship? Family?

This is where the hook comes in. All the movies/shows and songs that the kids listed are how the world portrays love to be. Love is viewed as a feeling. You love others only when they’re nice to you. Love is giving in to others or closing a blind eye to others even when they’re doing wrong. But that’s not how/what love is meant to be.

Read 1 Corinthians 13: 1- 13

This is what love is meant to be (v4-v8). Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self- seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love does not fail. Love is an action, it is not a feeling. We love because we choose to, not because we feel like it. We love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19). It is our response to Him.

Ask your kids to give you specific examples of how to show love. Then, encourage them to think of one area of love that they need to work on. Who do they need to try harder to love? What actions do they need to change?

The next part of the lesson will be focused on BGR.

Since this is the first time we’re talking about BGR to our kids, we thought it’ll be nice if you guys could engage in a bit of discussion on the topic of romantic love with your kids, to see how they really view it. But its ultimately up to you. Leaders can tailor the discussion according to your kids needs but here are a few possible starters. We don’t really have any specific answers for this part, its just for you to see how they feel.

Also, you can print out the HUGS AND KISSES survey form (pdf) and do it with them if you want.

Discussion

Ask your kids

- What they think of Boy- girl relationships, what they feel it should be like.

Is it all sweet moments like those portrayed in movies, where you are floating on

cloud nine all the time and you think about each other constantly?

- What they would do if they see a boy/girl that they really like, even though

they don’t know that boy/girl.

- Whether they believe in love at first sight.

- What they would do if they initial infatuation about the opposite sex fades and the

‘high’ is no longer there. Would they break up?

The last question will enable you to understand what your kids think of romantic love/love in a romantic relationship. Whether they feel that it only consists of Eros love and whether they feel that love is only a feeling. And when that feeling disappears, then there is no more love.

Here, you should remind you kids that love is an action, not a feeling and introduce them to the three types of love the Greeks describe – Phileo, Eros and Agape.

Phileo being friendship or brotherly love, Eros being love on a more physical, sexual level and Agape being sacrificial love. Agape love is love of God and from God, who is love to begin with (1 John 4:8). God showed Agape love in that in sent His son down to die for our sins even though we didn’t deserve it at all.

Healthy (Boy- girl) relationships should involve all three types of love- Phileo, Eros and Agape, with God being at the centre of every relationship.

How?

Phileo, where a boy and girl can talk to each other and share things with each other and support one another.

Eros, being romantic love plays a part.

And Agape, where a boy and girl in a relationship sacrifices for each other, time and things so that they can come to an understanding.

And most importantly, God being at the centre where the boy and girl make their decisions with Him in mind, and when they support each other in growing in Christ, encouraging one another to live for Him.

Also, as a side note and in conclusion, you could highlight Agape love to the kids. Agape love not just in romantic relationships but in our lives. We shouldn’t only show Agape love to the ones we care about and love but to everyone else too (1 John 3: 16).

We love others because God first loved us (as mentioned above) and because we want to obey Him. Loving others is what is commanded of us (John 13:34) and we can love others sacrificially because we have the love of God in us (Romans 5:5).

http://www.gotquestions.org/agape-love.html

End

Cheryl & Alicia (:

Kenn suggested that leaders should share their personal reason for sharing the gospel. That's a good idea. We will do it in a big group... all packed into one classroom so that all the youth can hear from all the leaders. Leaders we will come up to the front and share. Just a few lines would do. We could also share in medium size groups (2 or 3 groups combine up)

Start lesson:

Hook (should take 15 minutes):
Blind man's bluff

Well if any of you really haven't been in a chalet with 10 others and only a deck of cards where no one wants to sleep and everyone's ready to spout nonsense, then here's how it goes:

Aim:
To be the wield the highest valued* card.

Introduction:
Blind man's bluff (also called Indian poker, or squaw poker or Indian head) is a version of poker that is unconventional in that each person sees the cards of all players except his own. Keep the groups small, reasons would be explained later.

Procedure:
Firstly a deck of cards is thoroughly shuffled. Next, a card would be drawn by a player while not looking at it and placing the underside against the forehead. The rest would comment on his or her card and since the goal is to wield the highest valued card, discouragement in the form of a bluff or double bluff should be applied to influence the player's decision. The player who is wielding the card can choose to either hold on to the card or dispose of it for another. This is repeated until the player has decided on a card to hold on to. This should be repeated until everyone has obtained a card. Once this is done, everyone should reveal their cards for comparison, where the players have their first chance to see their own card. The “winner”** would be the one with the card with the highest value.

Discussion:
As most of you guys probably already know, this game is about peer pressure and the christian perspectives of peer pressure. The main idea to get across this game is for them to realize that this game is an allegory for the basics of the structure of peer pressure in society. Get them to notice whether there is someone who is more influential than others and try to recall what made that person so influential, their speech patterns or what set them apart. This gives you an indication of what kind of people they would trust. At the same time, ask them if they have at one point just decided to ignore everything around them and. left it to a gut feeling or luck, which would also give you an indication of their choices under pressure

Conclusion:
This exercise should successfully introduce you to your student's manner of choice under pressure, and should give you a good example to compare to when going through the lesson

Start with lesson proper:
Opening prayer and sharing (5 mins)

Focus of lesson:
Holding barriers against peer pressure without alienating oneself.


Read Romans 12:1-2

Qn1) What does it mean to offer our body as “living sacrifices”? (verse 1)

What is a sacrifice? In the context of the old testament, a sacrifice means to kill a newborn sheep/animal so that it can atone for the sins of the people or serve as an act of worship to God. However, what Paul is saying is that all these are not necessary anymore (because of Jesus death on the cross). What God wants is for us to give/submit our lives totally to him and for us to seek and follow his will.

Qn2) Why should we not conform any longer to the pattern of this world?/Why should we not yield to negative influences around us? – it’s a cool thing to be able to do whatever we want to do! (verse 2)

The answer to this question can be found in verse 2 itself. “Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The way we can know God’s will for us is by honouring and obeying him, and the only way we can do that is by refusing to be influenced by societal pressures/negative peer pressure. As we replace our old way of thinking (worldly values etc.) and adopt an entirely new perspective – from God’s point of view – we will begin to recognize God’s will more and more.

God may not dictate the details of our lives (such as what to eat, what colour clothes to wear), but he will give us spiritual principles for everyday decisions. Knowing God’s will results from doing his will as revealed in Scripture. (For example, to love one another, to spread the gospel, to not conform to the negative influences of this world) Hence the way to learn what is God’s will for us is to 1) study the scripture 2) act on what we have learnt from the scripture and 3) to continually seek a closer relationship with God each day. We would definitely not be carrying out these 3 things when we choose to cave in to peer pressure and do what “seems cool” or what our friends/the world wants us to do.

Read 1 Peter 2:11-12

Qn3) why are we called aliens and strangers to this world?

Many of those to whom Peter wrote were living far from their homeland. Peter uses their experience to picture how believers live on a temporary basis in the world – whose values are very different from those of a Christian. The Christian’s homeland is heaven (Heb. 11:13). Thus in whatever we do here on earth we should remember the eternal consequences of our actions/behavior/decisions.

Qn4) How do sinful desires war against our soul?

Our sinful desires lead us in committing acts that displeases God. Hence in this way it is like a constant/perpetual war and battle for us. We have to be equipped for battle (by knowing God’s word) so that we would be triumphant in this war that is raging within our soul.

Qn5) How do we then abstain from our sinful desires but yet reach out to our non-believer friends?

As mentioned in V12, we are to live such good lives among the non-believers such that they can see our good deeds and know that the God- centred life we are leading is wonderful, great and AWESOME! Hence we not only not conform to the ways of the world (as mentioned previously in 1 Corinthians) but we can go a step further – by leading godly lives in obedience to God! In speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

Qn6:

Ask the kids: What was the one major concept that was covered last week?
Kids (hopefully eventually): That we love the sinner and hate the sin

Next, tell the kids that the concept of loving the sinner and hating the sin when applied to peer pressure, on how we should never be affected by their influence to sin but still maintain a bond with them in order to bring them to god.

Finally, pose them the question: Do you think there are situations where you think it is practically unavoidable that you would fall into sin. (kids: ya...probably...). You: So what should you do in these situations?

Suggested answers: Firstly, pray to god for courage and wisdom and also learn more about him through the bible. Pray to god for the courage not to only be able to reach out to them but to be able to resist temptation when the time comes, and ask god for wisdom to understand what is pleasing to him and how to deal with such characters. Reinforce your stability in Christ through the bible and then take a leap of faith to be a living example, a living sacrifice.

Qn7:

This question is here in order to hit the nail on the head on why they should set an example of a christian life.
Start with: Read verse 12 again. Then ask the what the bible means by pagans. Settle for the short answer “
It refers to non Christians.” If they are interested, explain in further detail.
Follow up the question with: “so what does it mean by glorifying god on the day that he sees us.” Again it is alright to settle for the short answer: “It means that they have became Christians.” In further detail, it simply refers to the non Christians accepting Christ before they die.


Now it would be good time to get everyone to share what practical steps they could take to be an example in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity in their relationships with their peers. For the guys, it could be the frequent spewing of vulgarities when together with their friends, thus we could challenge them to not conform to their group norms but instead be the one that takes a stand to not use vulgarities. Or maybe it would be gossiping/bullying some other classmate. The point is to try to challenge our sec 1’s to take that stand for God and to be that living example and living worship to God in their everyday pursuits


Conclusion:

Get your kids to turn to 1 Peter 2:11-12:
Dear friends I urge you as aliens and strangers in the world to abstain from sinful desires which war against your soul

After reading this, recap on what was discussed during the lesson. Firstly, recall the concept of loving the sinner and hating the sin and recall how it applies to peer pressure, and how knowing you're vulnerable to such pressures is a strength which tells you when to avoid them completely

Next, clarify any doubts they have and get them to have someone they have in mind who is heavily affected by peer pressure.

Closing prayer.

I'm also looking for someone to help me count the attendance (no. of students / leaders) each week. Gab used to do it but he can't be around every week. The reason why we are doing this is to have statistics to analyse if bracketing Sec 1 - JC 2 is working well for TTB.

Remember the PEW booklet I showed you? I'm looking for a person to spearhead this effort for the Sec 1s. If you think you can help me... Drop me an SMS to let me know.

Yipeng