Wives and Husbands

The similarities between Christ and the church and husband and wife

Fun fact: Marriage is the greatest area of conflict among human beings.

Verse 22-24

v21- Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ
In the Revised Standard Version, v24 says "As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be subject in everything to their husbands."
v22-24 is the application of the above principle. As Christian husbands and wives, the subjection is not merely on the part of one alone but it is to be done by both husband and wife.

The method of subjection for each other is different for both the husband and wife but the principle is the same for both.

So the question is: How does the wife subject herself to the husband, and how does the husband, on the other hand, subject himself to the wife, out of reverence for Christ? That is what we will find out today.

Definition of Submit/ Subject is to adjust yourself to the to the authority or will of another. So Paul is trying to say to the wives to "Adapt yourself to your own husband, adjust to him.". This is the fulfillment of the initial word of the Creator when he said of the woman that she was to "be a help meet for man" (Gen 2:20). Be a help definitely does not mean to be a slave or rival but a willing and loyal helper to accomplish his aims and goals as led by God. It is in this role that woman finds fulfilment.

Verse 22-23

Key phrase is "as to the LORD". The wife is subject to her husband not because her husband is such a wonderful creature, but because she has a previous and primary relationship to her Lord. It is not for wives to worship the husband! She is just to yield herself to the will and aims of her husband.
The submission of a wife to her husband in the proper areas of his authority is the gauge of her submission to Christ.

It is a matter of headship and headship means authority. 1 Cor 11:3 states "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a woman is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." Focusing on the last part "The head of Christ is God", there are 4 elements involved in the headship of the Father.

1) Identity as to nature
"I and my Father are one" - John 10:30
When a man and a woman are married, they become "one flesh" - Gen 2:24/Matt 19:5-6, Mark 10:7-8

2) Cooperation as to work
"My Father is always at work to this very day, and I, too, am working" - John 5:17
We cooperate together

3) Honor as to person
"I always honor my Father" - John 8:49 and "It is the Father who honors me" - John 8:54
There is the mutual sharing of honor.

4) Subservience as to final decisions
"My father is greater than I" - John 14:28
Despite the identity of the person, there is a difference of authority for he says "I always do what pleases Him" - John 8:29

Verse 24 "Wives should submit to their husbands in everything", this definitely excludes moral wrong. Other than that, the husband is expected to encourage the wife to express her desires, soeak her viewpoint, or to bring out what she feels is the right way. But, ultimate decision is to honor his choice.

How is the church subject to Christ?

The Bible is the Lord's word to the church, the hymn book is the church's word to the Lord. The hymns reflect the hungerings and yearnings of the church subject to it's Lord.

Verse 25-32  can be summarized into one phrase and that is "Husbands,love your wives, as Christ loved the church"

Definition of love is grossly misused nowadays. Paul not only says that we should love but the extent at which we love is to be like Christ giving up himself for her (church). This are how husbands should love,by giving himself up for her. NOTE: It is not to give in but to give up himself for the wife.

The Lord gave himself up for the church with certain purposes. There are 3 factors listed in these passage.
1) Sanctification
Jesus gave himself up on the cross  in order that the church can be redeemed by His grace and that men and women might be called back to the original function and purpose of humanity. Similarly, husbands should
give himself up for the wife so that she might fulfil her womanhood.

The purpose of womanhood is twofold.
1) To be a helper to her husband. Husbands should not neglect their wives and exclude them from his thinking.

2) To contribute beauty into his life. Not only beauty of the physical form but a spiritual form as well. Just as Peter puts it clearly in 1 Peter 3:4. This is what the woman can uniquely contribute to life but it is the husband who opens the door to opportunity for a woman to do this by sharing himself with her.

Husbands can help their wives fulfil womanhood by giving himself up, sharing with her, discussing with her, talk about things. It is the husband's responsibility to open up and share with her.

2) That He might present the church to Himself in splendor (as a radiant church) - Verse 27
Just as Apostle Peter said in 1Peter 3:7. Similarly, the husband must give himself up to the end to honor his wife, glorify her and exalt her in the family circle.

3) He might fulfil the mystery of His own being. v30 - For we are members of His body
Christ loves us and continually gives Himself up for us because He cannot help it, we are part of Him and we belong to Him. v31 - And the two shall become one. This can be seen through how blended the lives of the husband and the wife are. Moreover, when conflict arises, what huts the wife damages the husband and if he is bitter towards the wife, it will eat him like a cancer in his own life and heart.

Verse 33

This verse is the basis of each person in the marriage relationship fulfilling his responsibility to Christ regardless of what the other does. You do not wait for the other partner to love you/ submit before loving him/her.